Conservative Hunk Saturday: Rudy Giuliani

Rudy loves enhanced techniques and for a woman to get her hands on his legs. Like professional wrestlers and male strippers, this terrorism ass kicker knows how to shave away all those manly areas.

Ladies, you can go out shopping for shoes or have passionate marathon with American's Mayor. He can can take you to the same apartment Bernard Kerik boinked Judith Regan.

You will lie on the bed as America's Mayor comes out of the bathroom wearing his sexist teddy. His bald spot will be glistening. He will whisper the name of his latest mistress into your ear. You won't care because you you will be overcome with desire. You will grab him and say, "Take me you be stallion."

Conservative Hunk Saturday: Alan Greenspan

The mature facial lines and smart glasses make women fantasize about Alan Greenspan walking up to them on the beach. Women can imagine soaking up some rays and a speedo-clad Greenspan rubbing suntan lotion on them. Alan will cue up some Barry White and drive the ladies crazy with his smooth talk about credit lending.

Ladies, listen to Barry White sing and imagine Greenspan's hot breath on your neck.

Conservative Hunk Saturday: George Will

There is nothing that drives a woman crazy with passion than a man wearing a bow tie.

CHS Is Catching On

Someone actually linked to "Conservative Hunk Saturday: Fred Thompson." I see this becoming bigger than Friday Cat Blogging.

Conservative Hunk Saturday: Fred Thompson

Litbrit, in the comments of Ezra Klein's blog, notes that women would read Playboy more if "they threw in a bit of handsome beefcake for us girls and gay men." In order to shamelessly increase traffic for my blog, I am adding "Conservative Hunk Saturday." There is nothing sexier than posting photos of male members of the party that abstains from sex.

This week's beefcake is Fred Thompson. He has been polling poorly with women. But then his sexual charisma is marketed towards male hetrosexual pundits. Who better than middle-aged guys knows want a woman wants. Chris Matthews wants to put Thompson to the smell test.

Can you smell the English leather on this guy, the Aqua Velva, the sort of mature man's shaving cream, or whatever, you know, after he shaved? Do you smell that sort of -- a little bit of cigar smoke? You know, whatever.

Ladies, imagine reading a romance novel in your bedroom. Thompson mysteriously enters. He unbuttons his shirt to reveal his drooping pecs and wrinkly skin. The intoxicating smell of Bengay unleashes passion women you weren't aware was caged in you.

Ladies, print the Thompson photo, make yourself a bubblebath and get a favorite toy. (Preferably Christian-themed.) You owe it to yourself.

I hope you enjoyed "Conservative Hunk Saturday." If it goes over well, I get the credit. If it fails blame Litbrit.