Write A Caption: Donald Trump

In other news: Trump will not run for President. Trump's press release is gag-inducing.

"I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election," Trump said in a statement on Monday. "I have spent the past several months unofficially campaigning and recognize that running for public office cannot be done half heartedly. Ultimately, however, business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector."

Trump is too busy selling his brand name to failed real estate ventures to run for president. Yet, if Trump were to run he would beat President Barack Obama. His that why Trump has benn silent about his birther conspiraracy theories after Obama shewed Trump at the Nerd Prom.