Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Pushing Rope Endorses Alan Keyes For the Republican Nomination

The Florida Progressive Coalition
has endorsed John Edwards. Pushing Rope will not endorse any Democratic candidate during the primary. We will endorse a Republican.

No Republican candidate better espouses conservative values better than Alan Keyes. Where George W. Bush failed, Keyes will be able to privatize Social Security with the political collateral gained from the Illinois Senagte race. Keyes shrewdly made Mary Cheney's sexuality a campaign issue. Keyes was wise enough to know that the best way to defeat the popular Barack Obama is going after the Republican Vice-President's daughter.

Alan Keyes: "And they are adopting the paradigm of family life. But the essence of that family life remains procreation. If we embrace homosexuality as a proper basis for marriage, we are saying that it is possible to have a marriage state that in principle excludes procreation and is based simply on the premise of selfish hedonism. This is unacceptable."

Keyes worries that gay adoptive children would have sex with their biological brother and sisters. The ignonant dummies in the audience laugh Keyes logic. Great minds like Keyes were scorned during their lives.

Keyes may not be able to talk in short and coherentsentences. He will woo voters with his golden singing voice.

If Keyes wins the nomination and Obama is his opponent, Keyes already has a big endorsement lined up.

"Christ would not stand idly by while an infant child in that situation died," said Keyes. Sadly, Jesus was one of the few people that voted for Keyes in 2004. Keyes was running even with Ron Paul in the USA Today/Gallup Poll. Lady luck has turned for Keyes.

Pushing Rope proudly endorses Alan Keyes. There is no other GOP candidate we would rather see get the nomination.



At January 23, 2008 11:19 PM , Blogger tas said...

I love Keyes's accent. It sounds like his Mom conceived with Gonzo... So much so that I'm surprised his nose isn't as well hung.

At January 24, 2008 1:31 AM , Blogger calebism said...

If Keyes had a better team behind him, he could do every bit as well as our current president, maybe even better. He's got my vote in the primaries, you bet. Thanks for the recommendation!


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