A-Rod (Career) Is Dead

The Onion pens of bogus eulogy for A-Rod.

"A-Rod was a person, but a much better baseball player," a statement from the New York Yankees' front office read in part.

A-Rod's final words were: "You'll have to talk to the Union.... I'm not saying anything."

Question of the Day

Can someone explain to me why the New York Yankees are resigning Alex Rodriguez for a reported $275 million? A-Rod is a horrible postseason hitter, handles the New York media poorly and walked out of the last two years of his contract. The Yankees are paying an outrageous sum of money for a 32 year-old player. Athletes do not age like fine wine.