Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Parody Anti-Abortion Article So Stupid It Could Be True

This is from a parody website The Newslo. It is so ludicrous that it could actually be an amendment to a Republican anti-abotion bill.

WASHINGTON – Republicans today proposed an amendment to an anti-abortion bill which would allow for the implementation of miniature sex toys to be inserted directly into the uteruses of women who are pregnant and expecting a boy.

The amendment came after Congressman Michael Burgess (R-TX) argued for the passage of HR 1797 – the original bill, which would ban all abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy – on the grounds that 15- or 16-week-old fetuses masturbated. “Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” said Burgess, a former OB/GYN. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain?”

Upon hearing Burgess’s testimony, Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee Bob Goodlatte (R-VA) leapt to his feet in shock. “These little guys are beating the bishop in the womb?” he cried. “My God, we have to do something! Christ, if we can put a man on the moon, surely we can stuff a blow-up doll up a woman’s hoo-hoo!”

If it was an actual Republican amendment they would try to insert a bathroom stall into a woman's uterus.

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