Thursday, May 01, 2008

Worst Porn Movie Ever (I Am Not Kidding)



WARNING: LINKS NSFW

Bat Pussy is truly an Ed Wood experience. How many porn films have the single male actor never get a stiffy in the entire film? The introduction even has an opening narrator talking to the camera. Just as the Amazing Criswell did in Ed Wood movies.

Bat Pussy waits for her secret hideout for her "twat to twitch." She leaves her headquarters on a hoppity hop, declaring in a Southern drawl, "I’m gonna get me some of that dick if they’re gonna fuck in my city." Bat Pussy doesn't get fucked in this movie. Since the only male actor can't get bat wood.



Buddy and his wife Sam get into on-camera fights because of Little Buddy's performance problem. There is nothing more unerotic than seeing a real life failed marriage onscreen.


Any other porno would stop the camera and attempt to get some wood going But BAT PUSSY leaves that sucker filming to capture B and D improv some of the most spiteful and hilarious dialogue ever captured. "You don't know how to fuck!!" " I come home and you got beans and taters for dinner when all I want is hot pussy on the grill!" This goes on for about 10 minutes straight.


This is probably the first porno movie with actors less sexually experienced than the audience. Ladies, Buddy is a real catch.


“Darlin’, yer gonna have to move your sweet leg.” Buddy tells Sam as he hoists her freckled, hairy cankle over his shoulder. “Fantastic, huh? Wouldn’t you say?” he asks her after a few seconds of a sloppy, sideways 69. Buddy has had an epiphany and, seeing the error of his ways, begins to apologize to Sam for his unwillingness to try oral sex earlier in their 9 (or 11) year marriage. “I never knew darlin’. I never knew! Is there any way I can rectify it?”


Something Weird has the movie for sale. Does anyone know if this movie has been uploaded on the internet? I have to see this disaster. I love me classic bad movies.

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