The Onion - Thousands Of Abandoned, Foreclosed Homes Threatened By Florida Hurricane
"Those who haven't already lost everything to the housing-market crash are urged to evacuate their homes immediately," said Robert Menken, head meteorologist at the National Weather Bureau. "That should be about 10 or 12 of you. Everyone else, please stay where you are, probably on the couch of some in-law who lives near Atlanta."
In preparation for the hurricane's landfall, the Emergency Broadcast System issued a number of safety warnings early Sunday. Due to expected high winds and torrential rain, citizens are advised to keep their windows and doors boarded up, as they pretty much have been through most of 2009.
Don't worry. Everything will get better when the Florida Chamber of Commerce succeeds in getting zero percent corporate income taxes.
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