You've got to be kidding a Bitch

A Bitch must confess that she was a little worried about what to write at Pushing Rope. A Bitch sure likes to push feet, but pushing rope is new to a Bitch. Political blogging is not what a Bitch does per se. A Bitch engages in the Theory of Bullshit, as one of her favorite hacker nemeses likes to describe it.

If the fates haven't been aligned in a Bitch's favor in terms of her career, such as it is, Lady Fortuna seems to have compensated a Bitch by dropping this gift right down a Bitch's anti-gravity pushup bra.

After a late night making a client happy, a Bitch woke up later than normal to find the equivalent of a hyooooge John Holmes, bulging veined dildo in her inbox -- metaphorically speaking.

Now, Pushing Rope readers might find such a thing of wonder a little intimidating. Maybe even scary. A Bitch found it just. plain. laff-a-minute. high. larity. If you've ever seen such a thing -- and opportunities are quite plentiful in the Tampa Bay region, are they not? -- then you know what a Bitch means. They are just plain funny looking.

So, what did a Bitch spy? A a letter from someone soliciting a Bitch's support for an FL-09 candidate. Not just support, but specifically support in launching said candidate as a Netroots-endorsed candidate. On principle, a Bitch has no problem with that and would eagerly support a candidate that a Bitch could get behind. Bend over boyfriend!

But what does a Bitch learn of said candidate other than that she would like and, apparently, deserves Netroots support?

A Bitch is supposed to support someone who is proud of her accomplishments on the Welfare-to-Work program? This is what a Bitch first learns - indeed,this is the only substantive thing a Bitch ever learns about this candidate: that she is proud of heading up welfare-to-work initiative in Florida.

That might not make or break a Bitch's support -- ifffff a Bitch had some other clue about why a pro-labor, pro-union, anti-Democratic Leadership Council, pro-feminist, pro-women’s studies set, pro-Real Progressives Bitch such as myself might give a bat's eyelash.

But lemme tell ya. A Bitch got nothin’ hee-yah. Nothin’. (said in her best parody of a Noo Yawk accent.)

And the whole thing abouta a Netroots candidate defined as someone running against really weak opponent? A Bitch thought she was going to have to rush off to the emergency room to have her side stitched up quick! Oh WAIT! A Bitch has no insurance thanks to a completely demolished health care system, trashed by the likes of initiatives such as Welfare-to-Work and other dimwitted policies pursued by the DLC, policies supported by Dems and Republicans alike, policies that allow corporations to run roughshod over workers in an effort to keep the profits crankin’.

Other than that, a Bitch learns nothing else about the candidate: no pointers to a Web site, nothing! A Bitch has no clue what said candidate actually stands for except that said candidate wants a Bitch's support and wants it on the basis of an assumption that -- what? -- a Bitch and her pals will vote for anything that's not a Republican?

And, not only that, a Bitch is supposed to be impressed by the Netroots criteria which say that the candidate should have a strong track record as a Democrat?

What does that mean?

Worse, a Bitch had a hard time not laughing herself silly over the notion that what's important about such a candidate is that the opposition candidate is, basically, a loser and easy target. This is an open admission from Netroots that they are too weak to risk their energies on anything but the easy shoe-ins, is it not?

Honest. A Bitch would like to write more but she can’t. A Bitch is laughing way too hard, even though a Bitch would love to have someone convince her that there's a reason to endorse this candidate and that, somehow, Netroots can make a real difference -- substantively. Because a Bitch isn't interested in voting for candidates who are Republican-lite.

Below is a copy of the e-mail from someone who supports Phyllis. Her last name is Busansky, something a Bitch learned later in the e-mail. *sigh* A Bitch always feel badly for overworked campaign staff.

A Bitch hopes Phyllis turns out to be worth supporting. But a Bitch is not at all inclined to support Netroots for the simple reason that Netroots doesn't support the very issues this Bitch cares about: those pesky "single issues." Furthermore, any initiative such as Netroots, which is the brain child of people who have denigrated people of color and women, is not an initiative a Bitch can get behind either.

Begin quote:

Phyllis is a terrific candidate running against a very weak on substance opponent.

. Her opponent, Gus Bilirakis, is a weak opponent. He has only two things going for him: His daddy is the retiring incumbent and his daddy is on the commerce committee and has raised a lot of money for his son. The GOP is acting like this seat is a birthright and can be handed to Gus. A lot of people in FL-09 are none too happy about that.

2. Phyllis is a solid and well liked democrat with a significant background of performance. For example, She has the support of a fair number of Prominent republicans. Phyllis served as the first Executive Director of Florida’s welfare-to-work agency (WAGES) under Governors Lawton Chiles and Jeb Bush. Under her leadership, the welfare caseload decreased by over 80 percent, saving the state $500 million in welfare payments. This $1.2 billion program was recognized nationally for its effectiveness and received numerous commendations from the Federal welfare-to-work program. Additionally, FL-09 is a mature district in which 31 percent of likely voters are seniors and 58 percent are older than 50. A tireless fighter for Florida’s seniors, Busansky has a powerful message to deliver. As Director of Aging Services for Hillsborough County, she spearheaded the effort to make sure seniors can live independently and not be forced into nursing homes. Moreover, her commitment to protect Social Security and make sure seniors get the benefits they spent a lifetime working for will serve her well here.

3. She’s got support. The DCCC has chosen her for the Red-to-Blue program and is supporting her. They think she can win with the right money. Congressional Quarterly just upgraded the race. She’s moving the dial.

4. The pollsters (i.e. the people) she can win: Here is an excerpt of their findings: “Florida’s 9th Congressional district is in play for a candidate with the record of Phyllis Busansky. If she raises the resources to communicate her story and message, she has an opportunity to win this race…. Busansky is able to run evenly with Bilirakis because she has a record and message that fit the district extremely well….Busansky’s strong accomplishments, which taken as a whole, produce a candidate who can connect with voters in this district and give Democrats a real opportunity to pick up a Republican seat. Busansky will need the resources to compete with a well-funded Gus Bilirakis, but her record puts her in a position to win.” Also, Betty Castor only lost by a point or two in FL-09, so, in the words of Larry Sabato in the SPTimes: “this district [FL-09] is not overwhelmingly Republican.”

5. She is the poster girl for the partisan litmus test! There isn’t a single thing on the list that she doesn’t do, stand for and exemplify!

6. Being chosen for the the Netroots Candidate Page is just what she needs to jumpstart her netroots campaign. The truth is that Phyllis is a bit blog shy. I’m working with her to do a live blog post and a blog call but she’s simply not too comfortable with the medium. Not yet. She needs to be and she will be because she’s got a terrific message and her netroots campaign will be impactful and meaningful. She could really stand to benefit from your endorsement.

Cross posted at Bitch | Lab.