Jesus Appoints Charlie Crist Governor

The Florida Governor's race is over. Jesus has appointed Charlie Crist.

The Rev. O'Neal Dozier said that before the dream he did not know Crist, nor had Crist made known his plans to run for governor.

"The Lord Jesus spoke to me and he said 'There's something I want you to know,'" said Dozier, pastor of the Worldwide Christian Center in Pompano Beach. "'Charlie Crist will be the next governor of the state of Florida.'"

What people don't seem to know is Dozier was appointed to by Governor Jeb Bush to the Judicial Circuit Judicial Nominating Commission. It doesn't hurt that Dozier has called Jeb "the greatest governor ever." Dozier defines his version of Christianity.

"We must teach Christians that they should vote for political candidates that follow the biblical positions on the political issues," says O'Neal Dozier, who founded the Worldwide Christian Center in 1985 in Pompano Beach. He instructs conference-goers: "The major political issues that you should teach the biblical positions on are abortion, homosexuality, capital punishment, income tax of citizens, affirmative action, right to bear arms, and public school prayer."

Dozier's Jesus is a gun-toting, execution-style messiah. Someone should ask Charlie Crist if he agrees with Dozier's version of Jesus.